Even the weather these days reflects what I am feeling. It's dreary and undecided, hopeful for sunshine, yet not seeing it fully burst forth. The loam is damp, the earth(!) cold and wet. Not at all unusual for winter, of course, but bleak all the same.
Naturally, the subject of this post is one all have heard of: that love. It is often said that people as young as I cannot hope to understand it, that it will come in time, but not for many years. I have no choice but to agree fully, but that does little to extinguish the fire(!) that courses throughout my body every time she appears.
It's curious to experience something like this, so familiar, yet so enhanced. I know this person as only a friend, someone I see on an almost daily basis. We'll occasionally talk and laugh, but nothing more, to my utter disappointment. To become closer to this person is but a lofty dream, and to spend countless hours with her would be nothing short of bliss.
Of course, our friendship has certainly grown since we met, and I unquestionably wish to preserve that. Any upset in such a delicate balance could be disastrous, but neither do I wish to ignore myself. The only logical thing to do, I conclude, is to simply wait and see where the wind(!) carries me.
This decision, however, simply leads to more controversy within myself. I find my mind accusing my actions of cowardice and fatalistic to a fault. I mock myself for giving all the control of my life to a higher power, and retaining none for myself. In short, I see myself as shirking from the authority required to harness my own life. On the other hand, I find myself with no other options. Neither can I (or more accurately, do I dare to) simply confront these feelings, nor can I seek a form of water(!) to douse them. The choice that I made, therefore, has my support, but my personal self does not. I am conflicted, by the same conflict that plagues multitudes of other teenagers in the world, but conflicted nonetheless.
Still, I wonder if I could simply take the other path. It would undoubtedly be different for me. Taking such risks has never been one of my fortes. Nor have I ever seen good reason to. But alas, were it not for the aching that I feel in my HEART!--
GO PLANET!
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!
Captain Planet, he’s our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero!
This may or may not have been one big setup for an internet meme.
>_>
<_<
/post
